Seriously.

I seriously get so frustrated doing squats that aren't on the smith machine. My form gets out of wack. I even loose my form doing just the bar. I WANT to be able to do them but I cant. I know can't is an ugly word and should probably do 5 burpees for it but I got so frustrated I wanted to just throw the bar. I had to just stop my workout all together and I didn't even start  a good one. I got some squats in with Ryan spotting me but he had to catch me a lot. I had to walk out. Tony helped me a lot yesterday, he sees the negativity I bring upon myself; he gets it but he also gets that I'm more than all that. He looks at how FAR I have come. Not looks but healtg, mental heath all that jazz. I just wish I can have that mentality that he brings people. Idk. I'm going to just walk away. Cool of. Get groceries clean a bit and hopefully come back tonight.

XOXO

Becky